Last night D11, S8, and I were talking about counseling/therapy. I asked S8 if he wanted to see someone every week rather than just the school counselor when she can fit him in. He said yes, definitely. So I'm going to reach out to the school counselor for some referrals.
D11 keeps insisting she's fine and I've been trying to initiate short bursts of conversation from time to time when we're both relaxed. That has included me being a little more open and honest about how I'm feeling -- trying to model communication skills in a positive way for her. I think it's working; last night we talked about things and I asked her how she felt about her dad being gone and she said, "That's your business." I said, "Yes, it is, and that's a good healthy way to see this problem. But it's your business that you don't live with your dad right now, and if you feel like you need help with that I'd like to know so I can make that happen." She said again that she was fine and I let it go.
Then she asked me if I was still writing (fiction). I said, not for a long time, because I've been so unhappy that I didn't feel able to write. She said "I think you should write about all this. That would be better." I said, "better for me or better for my stories?" And she said "Both." I said I thought she was probably right and that I would think about that. Then I kissed her good night.
I am impressed by my girl's wisdom here. I have to say, the beautiful way our family life has blossomed since he left is really thought-provoking. I had been trying to submit to the leadership of someone who didn't want to lead where I wanted to go. Or who maybe didn't want to lead at all.
When Cadet I first saw the message about the "gift of time" I didn't realize what it could mean. It really has been a gift, with the senses of surprise and slow unwrapping built in.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
