still holding on - 5

[u-turn]

Had a great night with the kids. S20 came home w/ his gf. We played some games, ate, was up pretty late. I pictured my future single life. It seems good to me. I can do it.

Now I'm having feelings that I haven't fealt and dealt with in a while. W didn't come home and my mind is out of control. I'll want to find out if she wants to be married to me or not. Once and for all. Wtf is going on? How can she think this is ok?