Barrybran - A Year On

[Barrybran]

It's funny the things you take inspiration from. I'm home alone and I just finished watching the movie 'Sex Tape'. If you haven't seen it, it's very funny. One of the more poignant lines in the movie is "people forget why they started f***ing in the first place." As funny as that line sounds, it hits home because I did forget why I got together with my wife in the first place.

Before watching the movie, I was quite reflective of where I've been and where I'm at now and admittedly, I missed my wife. Not the version of the woman who wants very little to do with me but the woman I used to talk to online and sit around watching trashy reality TV with. I even thought about our sex life and how it was compared to how it wound up. Safe to say, I forgot what I had and I took my wife for granted. She took me for granted too. We're both to blame for where we are and it will take both of us to work towards a better outcome, if my wife chooses to reconcile at some point. None of this takes away from what I did; what I did was selfish, stupid and hurtful and I deserve everything I've got. At some point though, I hope my wife and I can remember what brought us together in the first place and rekindle it. And I hope that when that happens, I remember to tell myself what I've got and to cherish it.