WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[stacey9]

Thank you RPP and Maybell for your advice. Maybell - I think I'm still hoping the sweet, kind guy I've known since high school will come back, and Christmas time being so full of memories of our special traditions may trigger something in him. Not likely to happen I know.

Suckerpunch - I see H almost everyday for around 5 mins when he comes to see the kids. At the start of the S I made sure I was out of the house or in another room when he came round and I barely spoke to him. After a few months the strain was just too much, so I started being nicer to him and showing him a more positive me. The only time I have saw glimpses of his old self was in the summer after his vacation with the OW - he was so nice to me and was offering to do jobs for me round the house etc. Guilt? Maybe.

Because he has been the main earner during our marriage he sees the savings accrued over the years as his - to help him buy another house. He seems to think that by walking away from the family home and signing it all over to me is a fantastic gesture. Even though I still have to re-finance and I am left with all the bills and the household expenditure to try and manage on my salary(he earns 3 times more than me). On looking at the statements he has submitted to my L there does seem to be half of it unaccounted for, so I don't know where it is. My L has mentioned court proceedings, but do I really want to go down that road? I do need to protect myself and my kids.

Detachment is a real struggle for me. I don't think I will send the card, I think it would only bring disappointment.

Thanks so much for your advice - much appreciated.