Angry WAH blames me for everything.......(2)

[Calibri]

We both struggle with this and I've seen it on your thread and mine several times. Again we have to both remember not to have any expectations the only expectation we should have is that they won't respond. You yourself told me that when you feel the convo is about to end or is stalling, just end it quick so you're not left waiting for an answer that may never come. Case in point tonight when you're H said "will do" and left it at that

i feel like I can give out semi-good advice but can't seem to follow it. I should've just let it go, or simply said later in the evening: "hey, got hungry couldn't wait, hope your day ended better."

Again, have no expectations. Actions over words. My W always ends our phone calls with ok well I'll text you later tonight and rarely ever does. It always just gets my hopes up and reality soon comes banging on the door

Hope is a four letter word. Having no expectations is better.

H associates you with stress and confusion because he simply does not know what to do about you're situation or even himself right now. Going to the dinner with just acquaintances or coworkers is just a way to blowoff steam without having to possibly talk about R/M. In the future, you obviously won't let this happen again, but try and remember that if he does go to a party like this it my pick up his mood a little bit which in turn will make him happier and want to talk to you more. He's depressed, so the fact that he's going out is a good thing and he's no longer hiding in his hotel bat-cave.

You know, the moment after I sent the text I immediately thought it was a bad idea. Because now he's pressured with going and possibly facing R talks, even though I promised none. Or saying no and looking like a dick and disappointing me. So, it was a lose/lose either way. I'm debating.....should I acknowledge that I put him in a lose lose situation and apologize or should I just stfu?

And, for the record? " Hotel bat cave" made be chuckle. I needed that.

Bottom line, you didn't screw it up too bad. It could have gone worse and there will always be setbacks in this process. Just don't have too many of them. If you do go to lunch with him don't bring up tonight's conversation and if he does brush it off gently. Just have fun at lunch and just be YOU! Just my thoughts.

Duly noted. Thank god I'm leaving town next week for a few days and there won't be cell service. I'll be able to avoid more emotional Drabble that will be even more amplified by the holidays.