Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

So I've come to the decision to trust my W completely: be totally trusting and trustworthy. By me trusting her completely, my thoughts will create me feelings and those feelings will create my behaviours and my behaviours will create the results.

If I'm constantly assuming she's lying and running around behind my back, my mannerisms and behaviour will reflect those sentiments and she will behave in accordance with my beliefs.

For example if one is always being accused of being a thief, then why wouldn't one steal - everyone expects it of one anyway.

I believe other people's expectations of you greatly influence your behaviour.

Therefore it follows that if I expect my W to be honest and faithful, any actions on her part to the contrary will be incongruent with my expectations and my behaviour toward her. Her tendency would be to want to live up to my expectations.

I see it in other people's sitches. They're always going on about their spouse's cheating. Almost as if they expect their spouses to continue cheating. It's like a self-perpetuating dynamic.

I'm trying this because it's a 180. My tendency is to mistrust and accuse. I'll do a 180 and trust her completely. Not saying it's not going to take some mental will power, but so far the mistrusting thing has been a cheeseless tunnel.

I'd be interested to hear the veteran's opinions on this one.