Sorry for dropping off as I was occupied with "stuff."
I am sorry that you're really feeling sad and hurt. The holidays do a mental and emotional trip on the LBS big time.
Originally Posted By: HPoirot
S11 was supposed to spend this afternoon with W. He told her, though, that he was worried about me b/c I was in my room crying last night and he wanted to spend this evening with me to take care of me. He also said he felt she was hurting me. So she just dropped him off and called me to say he was coming up. She asked me how I was. I didn't say anything. I asked her how she was. She said she was worried about me and told me what S11 said. I said don't worry about me, that I would take care of S11, and let me know when she'll pick him up later tonight. I hung up. She called back twice but I didn't answer.
I think it's time for another chat with S11 about his need to 'take care of you' for it is an hellva burden on such young shoulders. And you can say that he does not need to report everything you say or do to his Mom and vice versa for her. I sense that he's in the "people pleaser" spot. What do you think?
I also wanted to address W's comment about not meaning to hurt your or wanting any of this. It's time for you to be authentic with some selective truth darts. Doesn't mean that you get all Wet Noodle and tell her of every hurt & negative emotion.
Here's a suggestion for the next time W trots out the same friggin script on you:
W, you've said this several times. To me, it is meaningless because if one is sincere in their apology, then effort would have been made to change the behavior that is causing damage to the family...especially to our marriage. I'm not seeing any genuine actions from you to end things with the OM completely. We are in this situation precisely because I am NOT willing to continue to live in an open marriage. You've made a choice where there's consequences. Very serious indeed. So don't talk to me like this....it's insulting.
Can you make special plans with just you and S11 over the weekend? See the Christmas lights. Make a homemade batch of popcorn and watch some great boy-man movies?
