H's MLC#6- Now its about ME!

[mleigh4]

Hello, I am so sorry you are in this place right now. It's so draining. I am with woundedfool. Step back and recharge. If you start thinking D and what comes with that it gets overwhelming. We get your frustration, but I think you need to remember that you are asking for things your H is not in a state to give right now. With demands are going to come silence along with pushing him further away.

Is that what you really want? Are you ready to take that step to D? If you have any doubts, step back.

I am reminded of a post I think I saw on Caliguys thread and I think of this a lot in my own Sitch:

What do you need to be able to give H space to figure himself out while being able to live in harmony?

Is there a compromise you can come to where you can both be happy in this temporary sitch? I stress the word temporary - you won't live like this forever.

What would it look like to you to believe that H is ready for an R with you?

The more you demand and give ultimatums, the more he will revert back to his tunnel. Do you really want that or do you want to make your current sitch work until you are BOTH ready to move in one direction or the other?

You can't force it. You have to accept that and decide how long you can go to wait for that

Please try to take some time for yourself. Do things that make you happy and recharge.