Wounded - I was beginning to think you forgot about me
Not much new to report around here. We've all been super busy with the holidays and work has been slammed. H is actually in the process of potentially accepting a new job. He was offered a job he had when we were in another part of the state a few years ago. The company has grown and is opening up a few more places closer to us. However, the 'closest' one is by my work (about 120 miles roundtrip) which would lead us both to commuting to the same area. He believes it would only be temporary because they are also looking for a place in our area. I'm indifferent. He used to commute and always complained about it but he would be making 75% more than he is making now which would take a big weight off his shoulders (mine too). I've laid low on this decision -- I told him not to feel pressured into either decision and to make what he feels is best for him and our family and we will support him either way. I did say to make sure he really thinks about both decisions pros and cons instead of just jumping at a large pay increase. We're a little spoiled with his current job, small company, makes his own hours, vacations/days off whenever. He would be losing that with a larger company. So anyway we will see
As far as us .. We are doing well. Short of my last meltdown we haven't had any large issues. He's much better at communicating things with me. I personally think that what has saved us is separate bank accounts and splitting the bills. We used to argue a lot over money and his lack of paying attention to what was due when and how much money we had. So now that he is responsible for his own money I don't have to feel like a mother nagging him about bills. He knows whats due when.
I'm really looking forward to 2015. We are so ready to have all these house projects and some vehicles sold so that we can actually enjoy our days off and do things vs always have a large project to be on top of.
My IC tells me for every negative there should be 5 positives... So I'm trying to wrap my head around this and how I can accomplish that. He suggests more Mc sessions vs IC. He believes H needs to see that just because I don't bring up the past that it doesn't mean I don't struggle with it. And that his actions need to be consistent to prove to me that there is a change in him. I fear my H got off too easy and what is to stop him from this happening again in the future. So that's really a goal for me in MC to figure out how to keep things going in the right direction. I know nobody can predict the future but I certainly do not want to go through this again.
Anyway, we had our annual Christmas photos over the weekend ... It's still strange to me. I feel like those 6 months were a bad dream. It's almost scary how easily things have come back together. everyone that is around us commends us (well me) of how strong I am to just move forward as I have (if they only knew). It still stings to hear people say things like I can't believe it after all he did and how could you forgive him, then my mind starts running into all the things that happened... But then I make a conscious effort to stop those thoughts and remind whomever it is that its a choice we both made and we are a work in progress, the people that love us want us to be happy and those who do not aren't all that important then anyway. When. People ask what's to stop him from doing this again... I try not to go there but simply say I wouldnt know if I didn't try. And I just can't not give it my best shot. I know these are the friends that worry about me because they were there through my dark days during our S and I believe their thoughts come with the best intentions so I try not to feed into it.
Well I'm rambling as always and it's hard to make sense on my phone entirely. I hope everyone is well. I still try and keep up with those 'I know' stories even if I don't comment much. I hope everyone has a happy holiday and know that I am thankful for all of you
