Well you certainly don't have to take THAT. Crying, depression, spew (so long as its not rude or disrespectful), fear, weakness, anger -- all of that, YES.
But CONTACT? With her IM? Without you present, and to discuss their "CONNECTION?"
Um, NO.
Put on your best, non-"Dad" like voice and calmly lay out your short list of deal breakers to her. Do this ONCE. Tell her you COMPLETELY understand if she doesn't want to to this, but that they're non-negotiable for YOU and she does need to let you know. That FEELINGS make take many months to return, and that you'll be patient in that regard, but a transparent, monogamous marriage is a DECISION that she has to make.
And if it were me, I'd give her one hour to make it.
She's testing you. THE test. You can't control how she will respond if you do the above, but if you don't, I can almost guarantee that you'll lose.
Starsky
Yep, it's time. I'm pulling back already - way back.
I'm going to give my girls one last peaceful Christmas (why did this have to happen around the holidays?) and then lay my cards on the table. This cannot stand. I fully expect I'll be hunting for apartments the next day, but so be it.
I am so ready to jump in with both feet into healing our marriage, but she's got to be there too. She says she wants to work on our marriage, but her actions say otherwise.
She castigates me for being spineless with my parents and then expects me to be spineless with her.
And to think I was looking forward to putting 'piecing' in my signature. I can't compete with heroin.
Last edited by Rzrback; 12/19/1403:24 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
