Big question and moral delimma

[Ile Guy]

Since friends and family have learned about my separation and some of the issues surrounding it, I am learning more and more about my WAW that is making it harder to give true forgiveness and unconditional love. It is getting so bad... I don't even want to answer the phone for fear of learning something else. I am becoming more and more validated as each day goes by for filing against her after she left. yesterday I found out that she was basically embezzling from her last job and got away with it. Something that is so far off my moral compass it isn't even registering. She is obviously going though something, whether it be a MLC or Mental illness such ad NPD I don't know. The very first day I met with my therapist (while my world was still spinning), I told him some back stories of us. and he said it sounded like she didn't like who she has become or is so far into her lies and deceit that leaving was her only option.... I couldn't help still feeling like I did something to cause this... here is a copy of an email that I sent to Mr. Bilotta's office earlier this week.

"I am still not sure if she will change. I have owned my part in our marital breakdown.I have been changing our environment, being calm, seeking personal counseling and being nice. I have learned that my drinking was a symptom of a bad marriage and not the cause (typical withdraw, avoidance and being non confrontational.) I am genuinely happier, with the exception of missing her so much (but maybe that is just the familiarity of being married. I am also not too sure that she is prepared to give up or work on her part which was horrible financial irresponsibility, narcissism and pride. she always fought to win (her toxic take away) and seems to be doing fine on the outside (although MIL tells me otherwise. I just feel she has to figure this out, and it might not be too far down the road. She moved out learning that she only had a temporary job, filed a false PPO against me (which she got in trouble for), did not win the financial support she asked for and also got in trouble for keeping my kids from me (which I am their hockey coach). I have also saved our house. She has since lost her job and it kills me to see her in this situation, but she still hangs around with her divorced girlfriends that talked her into leaving in the first place. It has been 65 days since she has left and we have made up no ground at all in trying to fix this, with the exception of a few family activities and we are not fighting at all. She still pulls away if I offer any type of conversation regarding our situation. the only glimmer of hope is that she seems to be delaying signing the quit claim deed to our house which was an agreement during our temporary support hearing (although I wanted her to sign modification instead, but lawyers saw it different. She has also sold her wedding band (says for financial reasons) an still blames me and bad Judges for everything that has happened since."

I have been creating a good space and decided to go dark, since I have not gotten any response... last night she is blowing up my phone with texts, asking why I am all of a sudden being rude and short and....

Just wanted to get some input out there.

Thanks