I got an email at work today that talked about growing your business, and it closed with this great, great line:
Quote:
Fear is a lighthouse …
Head for it. What you want – a new job, a new life, a video blog or to make a difference – is right past the lighthouse. Your fear is leading you there.
Quick recap because 24 threads is TOO MANY for anyone to wade through:
October 2012, we're living on the west coast, experiencing the fallout of some surmountable financial issues, H accepts a job that brings us back to the east coast, near our previous home and driving distance (though still quite far) from family.
January 2013, he moves out ahead of me and the kids to start work. During his FIRST WEEK at the new job, kicks off an affair with an employee of the new company who lives in Europe.
February 2013, kids and I join him on the east coast with no idea of what we're walking into.
July 2013, OW's baby daddy outs my H. (I had the pleasure of seeing MANY screenshots of very explicit text messages between H and OW. Good times.) H asks for MC, says he wants to work things out. Hysterical bonding.
August 2013-April 2014, nosedive. H never gave up OW. I'm pressuring him more and more to commit to the marriage; he won't. Two marriage counselors, lots of lies, months of me begging, pleading, and screaming.
April 2014, he moves out. It's meant to be a three-month separation while we work on the marriage. Baby Daddy outs him again and I get a lawyer, but don't do more than very ostentatiously find out my options.
July 2014, he says "I'm not seeing OW anymore." Cue me freaking out and thinking we're going to reconcile.
October 2014, after him being wishy-washy, asking me out for lunches but total silence in between, nothing good happening between us and me just feeling strung along and anti-detached, I demand my space. Since October 2014 we only talk about kids and finances.
November 2014, a friend sends me a screenshot of his online dating profile. Also, after 12 years as a SAHM, I get a full-time job.
And here I am. I've been tremendously blessed. This is not a road I recommend for anyone, but it's the one I apparently needed to walk. Most likely H and I are through. And yet I'm still standing, and better in many, many ways than I ever was before. Hence my tag line, which I haven't changed in months and don't see any reason to change now.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
