a young marriage in trouble

[lnlyshp]

Hey vanilla. Thanks for checking up on me.

Here's the rundown:
- at the gym daily, working harder than I ever have in my life
- going to IC on Friday, he gave me a homework assignment where I will write a letter saying goodbye to my relationship, not necessarily to my marriage, but to the bad things in my old relationship
- finished my finals, feel that I did reasonably well, looking forward to a break before I start classes again late next month
- not much change with W. she is friendly usually, still can be quite cold at times. she still seems set on no reconciliation, not that I have asked. just expecting the worst still. don't know why she hasn't just served me with dissolution papers yet. maybe she's still trying to make up her mind or just waiting for after the holidays to do so. unsure what to do in that regard.

there has been a girl at school that has shown a lot of interest in me. very sweet girl, I really enjoy her energy. of course, nothing will come of it on my end. i know that I still love my W. just not sure how to let girl down easy.

still looking for ways to keep the hope alive. trying to stay patient, just very lonely and wishing I could detach and begin to move on with my life. wishing I wasn't still living in the past and thinking about all the things I could have done differently. wishing i could start to forgive myself for doing this to my family.

- lonelyship