Read your last post and will look for your new tread, seems like the one you had is closed now.
I also believe you need a lawyer to determined exactly what are your rights and in your unique situation what will be yours and his.
This socks, these whole money issue is annoying but necessary, but still socks.
I went to the court yesterday to get some more info, I have talked to a L on 12/4. She told me that my H will be broken after the D is final.
For now, the advice is that I do nothing, don't get a better job, don't move from the house, don't make extra money, and don't even put the D papers myself, what was one of my intentions.
I hate the fact that I am in Limbo Land right now, it is killing me to be so dependent. But for now, it's what I need to do.
I have been very black and white person my whole life, and I like to decide on issues as fast as I can. Waiting for something to happen and have my life on someone's hands is tormenting me.
I feel you are in the right path here, get yourself protected and go for what is your right to have. It also seems you made him a better man, like you said, he had nothing before being married to you.
Toots, regarding the D talk to others, I believe he will say or do things to justify his position. He is afraid of being judged, after all it is his second D, what does not speak very nicely about him in his own mind.
Would be nice if he can get some help and find himself. He is probably a troubled man with many issues unresolved and unless he gets some help, he will go through life doing lots of wrong and hurting others.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope you can find some peace with all what is going on. I know how hard it is, I am in the same boat here.
I have been exercising do not think much about my H. He has been quite these two weeks after the whole deal of that weekend that we end up in bed.
I think he realized that he was not giving me the time and space that I asked for. The bottom line is that without contact I feel our M is literally dying. In the same time, I know that things change from one day to the next and I don't know what awaits us in the future.
He told me that the first two weeks of January his company is holding the annual sales meeting. It means that people from outside US will be here. I assume that the French lady will be here too. So, we will see how that goes.
I would like to know exactly what is going on. Sometimes I think they have a R for a long time and that's why he asked for the D. But by his own words he said he did not have anything, no A, no R, that he just have feelings for someone and he thinks she has feelings for him.
When I spoke with a L, she said that if this is the case, then to just wish him good luck telling the new W that he is still married, did not do anything towards the D, have two minors to pay child support and will need to pay at least 9 years of maintenance for the XW. She said he will need to let the OP knows how broke he is.
I think H is not looking into this, he was never very good about resolving stuff in his life, neither he likes to face troubles, he just ignore things until they hit him hard and he needs to move.
Oh,well, it's not my problem and I can't do anything about it. I can only mind myself. I am getting better on this "can't control", "better YOU", feel good about myself business. I think it's been so long I don't really care about myself, it feels good to think about my priorities for a change.
I still need to do more of GAL activities. It's hard to find time for everything. I am going out "to dance" on friday, with some friends. I think it will be nice to see other people and have some fun.
Hope you have a good day, I will get ready for my busy day today. It's going to be a crazy one. I work with health and this time of the year is quite busy.
Hugs to you Toots. Keep yourself health, you will need to be in one piece now.
