afraid I have waited too long #5

[nit84]

Just some thoughts the morning after seeing my W for the first time in 2 months. It was nice but now I am feeling a bit low. I know as the day passes I will feel better but right now I am bumming.

I had my employer change my withholding tax to "single" just in case I have to file that way for 2015.

It took an extra big chunk out of my earnings. Now with having to pay my W spousal support plus the added deduction, it is going to make it extra difficult to keep paying all the bills. I hope at the modification hearing in Jan. I get some relief but I honestly don't think it will help all that much. I will figure something out.

Not sure if I shared this info earlier. My W rented, leased or bought a new car last week. She didn't trade the old one in because I am still part owner I guess.

This upsets me a bit because while I am trying to pay all the household bills.

She is living rent free at Grandma's and goes out and gets a new vehicle to drive around.

I feel somewhat like a fool. Maybe I shouldn't care so much about keeping a tidy household finance wise and just not worry about the consequences and spend money to make myself happy.

I keep telling myself to stay the course. it will all work out somehow but it is getting tougher and tougher to keep a PMA about my life.

These consequences that we all talk about don't seem to be hitting my W like I thought they would.

I have no regrets about standing for my M but I hope in the end I don't regret not doing something because I thought it would get me into a legal issue where it may cost me more in a financial sense down the road then if I hadn't done it.

It will get better and who knows maybe my W seeing me last night stirred up a little tingle in her.

Only time will tell and I have been given that gift