Hello -- I can't remember how to link to my previous posts, but it may be unnecessary because I have really turned a corner. After visiting family out of state for Thanksgiving, and visiting friends and family in another state recently, I have gained a new perspective on my life, and what I want, and the person that my H has become. I am ready to move on with my life and am really excited to do so. I met with a lawyer and spoke to H about moving forward with the dissolution as soon as possible -- and addressed the fact that I'll be moving (preferably with D14) to my home state where I have a job and family support. So far so good. He seems to understand. I'm hoping to keep it amicable, and I wish him well, as my daughter's father. But I am also really, really happy to release him, and, in the process, release myself. For the first time in six months, I feel like myself again. I have direction and purpose, and I'm addressing my financial, physical, and emotional needs -- because no one else will, right? I'll be waiting out the school year to get daughter through school, but then moving on. Best of luck to all of you in your respective journeys, and thank you for all the support you've given. I wish you all peace and happiness.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
raliced, yes, the lawyer said it was okay to handle it as a dissolution and keep it amicable, so I was relieved not to have to file for divorce with grounds and all that. Of course, I'm bracing myself for rough patches that may arise as we hammer out the agreement, but it's really just logistics at this point. With any luck, we can finalize the dissolution by mid-March, assuming H doesn't drag his feet. A lot of what held me back was fear -- fear of being alone, fear of the financial issues, fear of H trying to take everything away from me. Then I realized that he had already taken everything that I really valued (family, security, love), so I really don't have much to lose at this point! There's money, but it's just money. And there's time with my daughter, but he's already taking that, and I know he wants what is in her best interest, so I believe, based on what he's said so far, that he will let me take her with me when I relocate, and he will have her for summers and holidays. It's not ideal for D14, but this is the path he has chosen, and I have to make the best of it for me and my daughter. Fear isn't holding me back anymore. I'm choosing to embrace this new direction in my life and learn and grow from the experience.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Big hugs to you, Ahoy! Go get what you need and want!
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
A lot of what held me back was fear -- fear of being alone, fear of the financial issues, fear of H trying to take everything away from me.
Fear isn't holding me back anymore. I'm choosing to embrace this new direction in my life and learn and grow from the experience.
This is huge, Ahoy. And I completely understand it. I came to realize fairly early on that I was coming from a place of fear. And I looked at my fears and realized they could be dealt with. Good for you, you sound very strong.
Awesome! You sound very strong and determined. Good for you!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hi Ahoy, great to hear you so positive. You seem to be doing well . Please keep us updated on how you are getting on as you have been a great friend to me and to others. If you ever get near to Ireland, hell, europe, please let me know because I would love to high five you !!!!!! Knowing there are women as strong as you about gives us men hope that our own WAW may find some inner strengh.
Have a great Christmas and a very very very happy new year !!!!!!
