Can I do this alone?

[okjpc]

One more thing. I haven't received any communication from my W for a couple months. Also no D notice. Nothing. But I stopped chasing about 6 weeks ago. Decided I would work this DB program while continuing IC. But I figured I would really work on GAL, like everyone here recommends. I thought that somehow she would notice or word would get back to her that I'm posting stuff on FB and seem to be having a decent time or she would sense a shift in the universe or something. But I also took to heart that GAL is necessary no matter what. This S has shown me that I need to make changes in my life for me, my children and for future Rs (if my W doesn't want to be w/me). So I guess I felt like I had nothing to lose.

If I act with honor towards her, if I work through my resentments and work towards loving her unconditionally, one or more things will happen. I will be prepared for a reconciled M with her and/or if she decides she wants a D, then I will be able to rest assured that I took the high road and did everything I could. I have decided that if she has had an A during the S, then that will be a deal breaker. Lots of people on this forum are working through A's, but I have done some soul searching and I'm not up for that challenge. So if I continue to do my GAL, reach out in the limited ways that my DB coach recommends, things will be OK. They will probably not end up the ways in which I fantasize they will be, but I will be stronger than I have ever been and my W will have made the mistake to end this M, not me.

I don't know if that makes sense. I haven't tried to explain my thinking on this, but doing the DB/GAL program seems to me to have no downside. I definitely wish I had found this stuff a few months before the S, but I didn't.