Can I do this alone?

[okjpc]

helpjim,

I'm really sorry you're going through this. My W and i each brought 2 kids to our M from previous M's. I grew very close to her S and our kids grew very close to each other. It really felt like a family at times. Since she left (end of September), i have had no contact with her kids, she hasn't seen mine and they haven't seen each other. My kids are hurting a great deal.

I have no idea if she is dating or not. Before she cut off all contact, I did ask her in a text message if there was someone else. She replied, "Only a whore would date someone while they're still married!!" But maybe she protests too much? I haven't dated at all. I got on an online dating site for two days and chatted with a couple of women. Even set up a date with one, but called it off with her the day before. I realized that I love my W and am not interested in anyone else.

How am I coping with the loneliness? Well, I have reached out to a few friends and asked them if I can call each day. So i have about three people I call daily. I joined a church and have been going Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings - that is helping and I've begun to get to know some people. I do have two young kids (5 & 7 yo) fulltime, so I'm never home alone. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I have actually spent the past three weeks sleeping on the floor of my kids' bedroom (they've taken to sleeping in the same room) b/c it's very weird sleeping in my marriage bed w/o the W. And i have written some letters to my W that I never mailed. At least for the time I was writing them, I felt like i was having a conversation with her and getting things off my chest. And I pray every morning and every night for her, the SS and SD.

But I try to get out of the house a lot. I'm in the home we had together and it feels almost haunted with memories and the absence of the rest of my family. I'm in the process of losing the house as well (it's up for short sale) and it's painful to be here. So I have an incentive to get out and talk with people. Also, I am very close to the parents of my 1st W. They live in my town and I have been inviting myself over to their house for dinner once a week. They have been wonderful grandparents and very warm and loving towards me.

What kind of stuff do you find is working/not working for you?