I can clearly see some the roots of our problems, I can see that they're fixable, I'm doing everything I can to fix my "bad roots", every expert and veteran who studies marital problems says our particular issues are permanently fixable, she wants affection, I want affection, she wants what is best for D2, she wants us to be together as a family on Christmas Day and at church because that would be good for D2...all of that should add up to wanting to at least try to reconcile, right? So when she shows that she still is not interested in reconciling, I'm devastated.
Just because you can clearly see some of the roots of your problems, doesnt mean that she can, right? I mean, she just go the news of what you had been doing for years. Surely you didnt expect her to go, oh ok, no problem, we can just forget all of that and start new.
Maybe right now she doesnt think they are fixable. Maybe she needs to do this before she can. Maybe she is still reeling from the info and is trying to sort it out. Who knows?
You sure did tie all of that up with a nice bow, but, it isnt that easy, Card. I know you know that. Those problems run deep.
Doesnt mean she wont feel that way one day. It is just how she feels right now.
Doesnt mean you shouldnt continue on your path of healing and figuring out you.
Consistent actions, sincere words, and giving space is what she needs.
Worrying has no affect on the outcome. But moving forward, letting go and making changes may.
