Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #1

[HPoirot]

Your actions are not really to teach her anything. That's not really your place. Your actions are to take control of how you will respond and what you will request and expect.

If she learns anything from it it is up to her.

I know that goes against the saying "you teach people how to treat you," but I think in your case it might be helpful not to look at it as you teaching (aka controlling) her behavior. It's not your place.

I think of it as more "you communicate through your behavior how you will be effectively approached."

Yes thank you so much for the reminder adinva. I admit I still take actions with intensions they will affect W... to shake her up or make her easier for me and s11 to deal with. You're right though that trying to control her is a waste of my energy and pushes her away from me. It's not my place. I will communicate the best way I can be approached. Much better thank you.