Yes, corner turning is good, although the corners are not so smooth. Had a text msg exchange today that's left me tearing up and tight-chested. Bringing up a lot of anger and fear:
H: Have you paid home insurance. If not, I can call and pay via credit. Due this weekend.
Me: No I haven't paid. I'm sorry. I guess I thought it was automatic. Thank you for checking that. Can I ask your help some time in making a list of household related things that i'll have to take over if I keep the house? That would be really helpful. Thanks.
H: Car is auto(matic) but annual homeowner's policy isn't. Keep in mind, you can alter that cost. We can discuss that.
-------- So, he makes a little pun (car/"auto") and I'm sitting here reeling over the prospect of what single-life means for me.
F him. He is a f'ing jerk to walk out on me. F him F him F him.
And then my mind wanders to my MIL who emailed me to ask for bday gift ideas for my D. And I want to say to her that I don't think I can have a relationship with her that is friendly and normal like that, because unless you think I'm someone who deserved to be walked out on by your son, how do you not get involved? And if you think i deserved to be walked out on, why are you emailing me in this normal friendly way. Ask your f'ing son--you know, the one who walked out on his wife-- for gift ideas.
That's where my non-detached mind is right now.
I'm wondering where my cool, calm, confident self went to.
