Card, I think if she really needs to talk about something, in order to work through it, that you should do so with the understanding that you have to be careful about how you respond.
As in the discussion about whether she was a good wife. That conversation really had no way of turning out well, imo. No matter what way you went with it.
So, keep those conversations short and bring it back to how she feels.
I think a lot of this she just needs to say out loud as a way of dealing with it.
Do mindful listening and validating as much as you can.
You want her to get to where she needs to be on her own in her own way.
Answer truthfully, without fingerpointing. She needs to feel heard.
I am not surprised that she is quiet. She is processing a whole lot.
