Actually the bust that would work is to contact OM and tell him that Im sure he's a decent guy otherwise why would my W break up a family for him. That the affair was my W choice and that the workplace consequences are entirely for them to worry about. As long as he doesn't hurt my kids and provides them a safe home I won't wish him harm.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
