I've dropped the rope....

[Sotto]

Being ill (chest infection), home alone and not able to GAL hasn't been good for my PMA! Too much time to dwell on R. Today I feel pretty angry about things. I sat down and wrote a big letter to H (which I won't post.) It boils down to 3 things:

1. How could he ever think it was okay to tell others that our R is over (and that he knows in his future he wants a family) without telling me. He told others back in October and still hasn't told me. How can that be okay??!!!

2. It feels unfair to have incurred the censure/poor opinion of my PIL. H hasn't told them about the A. "It's hard to tell your Ps you had an A." He 'presumes' they know. From the brief, cool tone of their emails, I feel they think I have done something wrong.

3. Money - H Initially said 'just take what you need from the joint account - you know I'm not worried about money". Then, when I asked, he gave me money for a 6 months rental, saying "you really need to be self sufficient after that." Bear in mind I have always earned and contributed to our joint family costs.

I know it was my decision to leave our MH and job, but it was as a result of his infidelity. I texted him today on this one, asking to use the joint account for food & fuel to save me using up my modest savings. Maritally, we are very wealthy - H earns a six figure salary. It's galling for me to be worried about money when he has retained full use of our main house (half paid for by me originally) and our flat in the city, plus his six figure salary. So..

*At what point do I 'call' him on the fact that I know he has told other people our R is over, but not me?

*Do I tackle the PIL issue, saying I'm not willing to feel censure when I have done nothing wrong. Give him a period of time to tell them, if not I will.

I'm feeling many consequences - practical, financial and emotional. And I feel he is dodging them. (Maybe not true, but how I feel) I won't do anything until the New Year, and I know I need legal advice, I'm working up to that - feels like a big step...