Its a secret weapon is GAL, it starts the PMA and keeps the mind going.
Trust me all spouses are watching like a hawk. The rest of it is all puff balls and nonsense.
Jim, hope you enjoy the Ceroc, took me 6 lessons to pick up the basics, then it was all fun after that. Ceroc will teach you to lead physically with your body in the dance, great for posture and poise. We ladies are mere shopping trolleys being guided round the floor by you guys. I am looking forward to hearing about you practicing with D3. Music is great for helping with PMA too and Ceroc music is usually quite upbeat.
I love seeing a GAL plan come to fruition.
In the same place or not. I suppose it depends on the sitch and the type of interaction. In my own case at this point I believe it is a good thing that we are in one house. Why? Well I am getting more opportunities to enforce my boundaries and reduce the abuse. We are down from 3 episodes a day to 3 mammoth episodes a week more or less.
I think H drinks slightly less, this is because I don't enable the drinking any more. I often disappear over night when I know H has been drinking and because I am more aware of H and his gambling/not gambling then I have little piece of mind whilst sharing financials. On the other hand my imagination is not as riotous as I am aware of H movements and I have learned more detachment.
I get more GAL and my PMA is evident. I play music.
Downside; the changes aren't as evident as they are happening more slowly and I still look like crap because of tooth problems, H just perceives me as a 'hypochondriac'.
No one sitch is worse than the other, it will probably be easier to detach further if the spouse is not about. More peaceful, we will see.
For those of you with children then a stable dad or mum will provide relief from stress and anxiety, whether than is in the home or not. Children are more perceptive than we think, if they know that the LBS is working to protect them and re-stabilise the family, then that's one less anxiety for them. Plus there is joy and love in GAL with children and whatever you say they chatter about the GAL and PMA, generally more than the crazies.
Bust an A or not? I think it depends on the A. My common sense says that if busting goes badly wrong there is absolutely no way back. So its a make or break move, I would have thought a final action, with no turning. This is when ALL actions have been done, LRT, going dark (sandi- not saying connected) and all possible avenues have been explored. I do not believe you are near that point yet, and you have children do you really want the effects near them?
Go GAL and keep on going GAL. Things will turn, it takes time for it to do this. Stop fretting and picking at it to make it quicker. The human mind always wants resolution as uncertainty creates dissonance. Stop forcing it to resolve and let it unfold as it will.
GAL pal Vanilla
Last edited by Vanilla; 12/17/1405:31 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
