asked him to leave, but really want him to stay

[hope4]

Thank you, FunDad.

Last Sunday was his last day in the home. It was painful to change the locks and tell my children he was no longer allowed in the home without me there.

Yes, sadly, I have found an attorney who understands my not wanting to let go, but having to.

The kids have always been my priority (part of our marriage issue) and I pretty much let him take what he wanted, I spoke up when I thought he was being unreasonable, but never argued. Tangible items aren't worth it to me, and it made an impression on the children when he still took the only TV in the house.

I am still working on the forgiveness, especially when I see how hurt the boys are. I feel I let their family fall apart. Perhaps I should ask their forgiveness and not my X. It is foolish for me not except the Lord's pardon, when that should be all I need.

Ugh! I know from reading, there is a ton of ridiculousness that will go back and forth. He actually asked if he can come over for dinner to be with the baby. Sounds nice and caring, but I feel there was a more sinister angle at play. I said yes, but afterthought tells me I should explain this is not going to happen regularly.

Thank you for taking the time to read.