Dawgy, when I first started visiting these boards I saw people who had been S for 3 mos, 6 mos, even a year! I thought to myself 'How do those people do it? No way my sitch will last any longer than maybe 3 mos.' Well, here I am almost 2 years after BD #1 and 15 mos into S!! I can't believe I just wrote that...
I think to outsiders it's easy to look at the length of time and question why we're not D already. But as you know, this is one big roller coaster ride and if you still want to save your M, real progress takes time- lots of time.
The fact that you and W are still in the same house has probably made it more difficult for you to detach. I asked my W to leave the house in March, so not having those day to day interactions with her has helped me detach (I'm still not 100% though). If you don't want to be the one to leave the house (I'm not encouraging it), try to find as many activities outside of the house you can. New hobbies, take the boys places, etc. I truly believe my W is slowly regaining respect for me the more she see's me living on my own, enjoying my life and doing things with the kids- 'oh wait, Tarheel doesn't need me to take care of the kids/house/etc? Maybe I want back on this ride!'
