CHL's Thread, Version 4.0

[sage]

Question for you guys... Do you think the joint thread that P and I have been using, "Clear to Send", hasn't been useful? Her comments was that it was going nowhere, so she's going to stop posting again. I realize I haven't been posting a whole lot lately, especially about my thoughts and feelings, but I didn't think the thread was a waste.

I think the thread has been very useful. You guys had a chance to articulate the reasoning behind some miscommunications, etc.

I think that Pam's statement that it hasn't been useful was her dipping back into "all or nothing thinking" (which, in fact, she has been doing a terrific job of working on and not lapsing into). I think that she felt that you guys were working on solving some communication problems so she tested the waters with her question re. your face2face interaction of the other night. I suspect that your one word answer made her feel as though you guys hadn't made any progress after all...

not saying your answer was right, wrong or indifferent...I'm just surmising what Pam must have thought. Also...as long as I'm on an ASSuming roll...I suspect that your positive and playful exchange on my thread yesterday may have made her feel closer to you and that she felt cold water on her after your exchange on your joint thread.

Again, it seems like everytime I try to do something nice for P, she spirals downhill within a few days. I realize this isn't easy for her, but it does feel like it's her way of demanding attention again.

Still dangling out on the limb with my ASSumptions but here goes...

I personally think that Pam is hoping that some nice gesture on your part will build upon itself and lead to some event or disclosure that stops the D train.

When those nice things happen I think that Pam allows herself to think that maybe things are turning around and then she pulls back in a panic.

Sage