MOVING UP MOVING ON

[Ambivalent]

I haven't posted in awhile. I had to work things out. Long story short. I wrote to JTM and told him I believed we shouldn't see each other. I was further down the road, even though he was divorced and I was not.

He wrote back the most informative and loving letter. It wasn't so much the ex, it was he hadn't mourned . Couple that with his feelings for me, feeling love and fear of falling more and more. So I pulled back.
He didn't want to lose contact and he kept writing me , sharing his life. He wrote lovingly and regularly.

Eventually I was becoming ill. So after two months of this I stepped WAAAAAY out of my comfort zone. I told him that I trusted him and I would always be honest with him. So I was. I shared that I wanted us to see each other again. Not worry about the past nor future. To just enjoy the present. We are.

I have taken one board, the written and flew through that with flying colors all 100% one 95%. The practical I royally screwed up. I am retaking Jan. 7 in Richmond. MUST PASS

Meanwhile, I've been digging around and created a job for myself. I'm ramping up and will be cold calling soon.

I've been dealing with fleas, a H. who lost his job and is not paying support, and chest congestion. Court was yesterday, haven't gotten results back yet. I'm supposed to be divorced by April. I'm ready and will face the challenge. Not looking forward to hashing out the property crud. My biggest challenge presently is money.

Trying to keep a positive attitude and sense of humor. TH-th-TH-th-that's all folks.

I've squirreled some away and am paying bills with that.