KGirl... I'm so sorry you are in this situation, and I know how hard it is.
But there is a real chance that someday you will look back on this and think that you were given a true gift. When you first met your H, you were technically still a child. You are quite literally a different person now; you see the world in a different way, you see yourself in a different way. And, at least where I'm from, you are still quite young and have a whole bright future ahead of you.
Who knows... perhaps your paths will cross again. And if he comes back ready for a true commitment you can decide how you feel at that point.
But I have to say honestly... for your H to say now that he feels like he's missed out on something... before you've got kids and have been married for 20 years... is in many ways a blessing. He's right-- he's got some growing to do. Let him do that...and do your own as well... and focus on where you are headed.
