Quote: Pam would just freak out when I did that because she thought I was being disrespectful to her. She'd start paging, e-mailing, IMing, calling, leaving voice mails, driving to find me, calling my family, etc.
Yep...I can see that!!!
Pam, gets like a wounded animal when she's desperate to connect with you. We (LBS) unfortunately act at times like children too. When a child can't get it's parent's attention they'll throw tantrums, cry, scream ANYTHING (even if it's totally obnoxious and will just tick the parent off more) to get the attention they want.
For some, negative attention is better than NO attention. So at times, Pam reverts back to being the scared child and in desperation acts like one.
There is no way to explain to someone (you for example) the feeling that the bottom has fallen out of your life because the person you love has turned to someone else.
It's difficult for US to understand how our spouse, who is in emotional pain, turns to someone else for comfort instead of us...it takes US a long time to realize our part in the dissolution of our relationship and come to the point where we accept the fact that our WAS was in pain too.
I think we become desperate to know WHERE and HOW we failed you in your eyes so that we can understand where we went wrong...and we want desperately for you to know where we feel YOU went wrong. It takes TWO people to build the walls that separate a relationship, and when a third person enters the picture...it gives the one that's brought them into the triangle an advantage because they have someone to comfort them...the LBS is left alone to suffer the breakdown of the relationship.
This is a good place for you to post as your sharing YOUR side of the story, helps LBS to see 'life' from the 'other' side. T2
