Quote: I'm with Tal on this 100%. I began to do that with my WAH last year. When he said something I didn't think was correct or felt the way it was said was inappropriate, I calmly said something like, "I don't care for the tone of your voice and find it offensive, why don't you call me back later when you are able to speak to me more respectfully. I'll talk to then. Bye." And I would hang up...he always called back and within no time...he learned to 'control' his tone and demeanor if he wanted to maintain contact with me. NOW...it's a "habit" with him to NEVER speak harshly.
Actually, I'd tried that. Pam would just freak out when I did that because she thought I was being disrespectful to her. She'd start paging, e-mailing, IMing, calling, leaving voice mails, driving to find me, calling my family, etc. Now that she's more emotionally level, I'm thinking it might be time to try again though. Thanks to everyone for this suggestion.
Quote: It's just YOU setting YOUR personal boundaries with Pam. As Pam is struggling to balance her emotions (hopefully the doctor and she will find the correct dosage of her meds for her) and while she's doing that, she is still struggling to 'hold her tongue' when something 'triggers' her.
Yeah. I believe that's what was starting to happen this morning. I got the impression that Pam wasn't pleased about my posts on the joint thread.
Quote: YOU however are not a dart board for her slings and arrows. When Pam is saying or doing something that YOU feel steps over YOUR personal boundaries, say so calmly and respectfully.
You're very right.
Quote: Silence (on your part) is more painful to her than your calmly stating your offense to her actions/words could ever be
That's a very good point.
Quote: It's good to see you here FINALLY opening up and getting real. Good for YOU! T2
Difficult for me. Much of the recent absence from the BB has been because Pam had asked me to not post. Plus, I had the thread that got real ugly. I guess it was one of those times where I'd drawn a personal boundry.
