Sitting looking at the tree. Thinking about some other forum members - & like myself, how different this year would be for them.
Just sitting ... thinking. Last Christmas was magical (!), it really was. We did so much together. I think that this is why the 'March BD' was a shocker - not long after the 2013 holiday season coming to think of it.
Right now, h is expecting $$ ($ = sig. mlc trigger) and it will be late in coming I think. He is pleasant but a little distance has returned. I ask God, who ever 'he, she or it' actually is, to get me off this pendulum next year! LOL Am fine on some level with h's mlc quirks though. He even acknwoledged my birthday earlier on ... & I didn't acknowledge his before then! h was VERY busy 'living HIS life' at the time 'sans moi.'
Got a major disappointment recently re: another relative (with whom I felt close to ) & I suppose everything is making me look at my own life so far.
2015 has to be better for me. 2014, the ordeal that is was is practically history now. I do feel drained with this level of upheaval & so little financial room to maneuver. Have to think of solutions re finances for 2015 - somehow. If that is in place, I will have peace of mind re: bills & resources to enjoy a few things to get my mind off the less pleasant.
These are the things we should learn in school!! Not simply academics re: how to make a living, but 'how to make your life' in your YOUTH when you have the energy!! Well, let me take my 'tired, busted up' self & >>>
HO HO HO ... HOpe! p.
pbetra ---- M: 15 yrs (in 2014) BD: 6/03/2014 Infidelity ('known' from July 2014) Denied PA Feb 2015 2 leave Mar 2015 (left early Summer). Some contact. Back briefly 2017 (after family death) Separated 2017
LOL Am fine on some level with h's mlc quirks though. He even acknwoledged my birthday earlier on ... & I didn't acknowledge his before then! h was VERY busy 'living HIS life' at the time 'sans moi.' 
) & I suppose everything is making me look at my own life so far.
