Quote: I'm still trying to figure out how I want to reply on that thread.
Constructively!
Seriously though, I'm glad you appreciate the post. I hope that means it was helpful.
I'm not sure what the crying was directed at... I hope it was a good cry, they can be very healing. If you feel up to it, maybe you can explain it a bit more?
Yes. Some of my first thoughts probably wouldn't have come across as constructive.
Quote: Seriously though, I'm glad you appreciate the post. I hope that means it was helpful.
Yup. It said some thinks I've been trying to find a way to say.
Quote: I'm not sure what the crying was directed at... I hope it was a good cry, they can be very healing. If you feel up to it, maybe you can explain it a bit more?
Both were very good cries.
I feel like some of the things you wrote were things P needs to hear. When they come from me, she ignores them or argues with them. I know she values your thoughts and opinions very highly, so maybe she'll let them sink in a little. Plus, some of my more direct posts sometimes start BB fights. I think as a WAS, I'm sort of a "bad guy" in most eyes on the BB.
I've tried asking P if her actions are taking her closer to her goals or not. I've tried asking her how she'd react to things if she were in my shoes, etc. There are times when I just want to shake P and ask her if she's thinking at all about her actions.
Quote: I feel like some of the things you wrote were things P needs to hear. When they come from me, she ignores them or argues with them. I know she values your thoughts and opinions very highly, so maybe she'll let them sink in a little. Plus, some of my more direct posts sometimes start BB fights. I think as a WAS, I'm sort of a "bad guy" in most eyes on the BB.
For the record: no, you are not a "bad guy" in most eyes on the BB. Not even in many eyes. So do not worry about it.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
And buddy, if you think 8:30 a.m. is "sleeping in" you have a long way to go to be a true night owl!!
Yes, CJ's jealousy must have some insecurty behind it, crazy thing is...I've never been much of a jealous person..at least not with flirtations from good friends (although I suppose that CAN bite one on the A$$)...I'm certainly more touchy these days myself.
OK...I strongly disagree with not responding when you feel you are being disrespected.
Behavior Modification Technique 101 - The broken record technique
CHL: I will not respond to that question because it sounded like a jab. Please ask in a respectful way.
CHL: I will not respond to that comment because it sounded like an insult. Please tell me what you want to say in a respectful way and then I will respond.
This would be doing something different. Not responding at all just looks like conflict avoidance on your part. That makes Pam feel disrespected and triggers her. If you follow my suggestion, you are stating the truth in a way that is respectful to both of you.
Didn't mean to make you cry. I was having an emotional week. Guess I overflowed a little.
I'm a little ashamed to say it, but I try not to get too hopeful about P's changes being genuine. Every time I think she's finally "getting it", there's a major reversal to old behavior.
Quote: OK...I strongly disagree with not responding when you feel you are being disrespected. [snip] This would be doing something different. Not responding at all just looks like conflict avoidance on your part. That makes Pam feel disrespected and triggers her. If you follow my suggestion, you are stating the truth in a way that is respectful to both of you.
Tal,
Been thinking about what you wrote... probably some advice there that I really need to take. I think I need to try what you've suggested.
