Continuing DBing after the affair

[PeterV2]

Well last night was the anniversary of me finding my W in a hotel room with the OM. She went out shopping yesterday and I sent her a text - no response. So my imagination started to take hold of me picturing her meeting up with OM. I had to distract myself - thought-stopping - played some video games, watched TV, got my mind going in another direction. At 10pm she called me all chipper, telling me about her day shopping, how her phone had died and she spent an hour at the phone store getting it working again - apparently a system wide issue.

So all is good. A year ago we were at a 1. Now I'd say we're at a 4.5 or 5. At least she's moved home. I'm doing the night shift at the RH home now, but when I come home in the morning before she gets up I make her coffee and greet her cheerfully before getting to work in the office. We eat lunch together. She cooks me great meals - she an excellent chef. We spend a lot of time together and I've now learned not to exert any pressure.

I told her again yesterday that I was committed to rebuilding our marriage. I shouldn't have said that. It's pressuring and is totally counterproductive. I won't ever say it again. She knows it. That's the third time I've told her, as if she's hard of hearing. But she knows. So I just have to see the fact that our relationship is good right now. Sure it could be better. But right now it's good and I'm going to focus on the good. I'll give her love every day in every way. Unselfishly. Caringly. Empathetically.

What I focus on will grow. My thoughts are under my control. My attitude toward my circumstances are under my control. Those are the only things under my control and I mean to control my own thoughts and my own attitude.

I'll work on myself - to be a better man. To be the best I can be. To be happy and hold on to my N.U.T.s (Non-Negotiable Unalterable Term - great book).