I'm glad you are taking some time off and going silent at least for a little bit. You sound extremely irritated and frustrated right now and the last thing you want is to be sucked into a conversation when you're already angry. You know right now you will have to do all the heavy lifting, it's not fair in any way but it is what it is.
RE: being vulnerable and showing a softer side
You said that you show him your insecurities and he's seen you cry and all this stuff during your marriage. Maybe that's not what being vulnerable is...I remember you posted a while ago about your IC saying if your H could see how vulnerable you were when you completely opened up and let your guard down and were bawling on your IC couch. Maybe showing your softer side isn't necessarily crying or being understanding and not being "tough." maybe what being vulnerable means for you is to simply open up to him and give him the controls and let him help you for once. Look what happened when you were honest with him about not being able to abide by his boundaries when he doesn't articulate them. He was intrigued and agreed to try it out. Yes The ball is back in his court but isn't that what you wanted? At least to an extent he knows that he has to tell you what his boundaries are in order for you to follow them. You just posted that the other day so I assume you haven't had a chance to try it out yet. Keep being patient and just see how it goes now that you've expressed this concern to him. Give up that control and see what he does.
I read in DB that sometimes some people just set aside a certain time for a specific amount of time every week to just talk... I don't know if this is something you want to suggest to your H? So at least both of you are prepared for a conversation and your husband and you know exactly how long you'll be on the phone for.
Idk if any of this makes sense, sorry if I rambled, I've had a long drive today.
ME: 28 W: 24 M: 2.5yrs T: 5yrs BD: 22 SEP 14 W Leaves: 5 OCT 14
