Thanks for the response. Greatly appreciated. I have read the 37 rules and continue to re-read them. Have been sticking by them like glue since separation, two weeks ago.
The prior post, from 'Cadet' I feel like I have read before on another post? Also, why so negative? I have read quite a few topics and posts since finding the site and want to stay positive. The whole idea of 'detach' and 'GAL' seem like self damage control, and I get that, but whatever happened to being true to wife even if she seems like she has gone off the deep end? I didn't get married to 'detach' at the first sign of trouble. That's what dating is for!
Question on a '180' I did Friday. Wife calls AM to suggest we take 2.5 daughter to Santa that evening. She's not sure if she can go but will let me know. I say 'think that's a great idea' (even though don't really want to spent time with WAW in a crowded mall with our toddler going nuts for all the action -- not a good place to try and test the relationship, the way I see it)
WAW texts @ 2 PM that she 'does not feel great' and wants to try following week. I only text back, 'sure thing'.
A couple hours later, it hit me, when I thought 'whats the right 180 to do here?' WAW has complained, with MC, that I did not help enough with our daughter and it was a problem for our M. I had already volunteered and had D for four nights (3 in a row) that week (180 by me and I love being with D anyhow) so I decide to text her back "do you want me to keep her one more night since you don't feel great?' 'could drop her of to you at your parents sunday before church'. (end texts).
W responded back 'no I miss her will see you tomorrow'. Told her (text) okay and hope you feel better'
Was this an affective 180 or not?
BTW, when she calls, she seem like she is frustrated on the phone w/ me because I let her do the talking and on reciprocate to what she says and lays out. I don't ask her how she is, ect, just following the rules. Is it true the spouse / WAW will get angry or frustrated because I am pulling back and that is actually a good sign because it causes them confusion?
