Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #1

[HPoirot]

Choose your battles wisely. Think about the bigger picture.

Finally, I would not advise you sending that snarky text...it serves no purpose other than come out as a bitter man. You want to show W a strong and confident HP.

Get your mojo back, buddy!

Thank you Wonka. Yes I did show weakness today. It was no big deal and I could have just said yes to her request and not have to hear her voice. I'm concerned she'll just keep calling me when I've made it clear I only want to hear from her in emergencies. I'm truly tired of her wanting to talk in the morning then screaming at me in the evening. Yes no doubt I'm not detached and, though I should be able to take and ignore anything she gives me now, sometimes I fail and then scramble to recover causing more problems.

I was saying this morning I just wanted a few days of not being a LBH. Just to get to work and have some good days. Then I let her "I REALLY need to talk" text throw me off immediately and I got no work done which fed directly into W's screaming VM. I know better than to let her get to me like that as you say Zeus. Even if I'm not detached I know how to do it under worse pressure and I have. I set myself up today thinking I would not hear from her. I'm tired of having to be ready for her everyday and it irritated me her telling me to grow up after I left her and made it clear I only wanted to hear from her in emergencies.

I'm seeing, though, that having my mojo back means being cool no matter what she does. I can't expect her to do anything I ask or expect obviously as right now she cares nothing about me or my feelings. So you're right Zeus... I can't afford to be surprised by her actions. I know she feels trapped and scared and in love and in hate and messed up and awful and empowered and more. I can't afford to keep riding with her on her roller coaster.

So that is why I come here. My instant reaction is still to react to her sometimes or to cllimb out of whatever hole I feel I'm in. I'm remembering Starsky's 2x4 that, after all that I've been through in her face for spew, I should be more cool about what happened today. I'll do better tomorrow. Even better, I've think ahead of any crap from her and do what it takes to avoid it.

My big mistake was I wanted a rest from being an LBS today. Lesson learned.