Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #1

[HPoirot]

HP ... I am not fully up on your sitch .. but reading that TM made me think of my wife .. she would write/say those things all the time. Hindsight ... I set a boundary and she did not like the box I put her in so she acted like a kid and acted out. Its good ... hold to your guns on this at all costs. I am at the point the only TM I reply to are concerning S, anything else is ignored or I will reply 2 hours later. Kid emergency .. immediate response ... all the other stuff can wait or is talked about in person ... I tired of all the discussions where something was taken wrong via text. In time she will respect your boundary and you will be at peace for it .. trust me.

Thank you for this CaliGuy. I'm understanding the importance of setting boundaries with my W instead of punishing her b/c of anger. I do want our R to survive this horrible time and grow into a better M... but right now when she's so so against me I have trouble acting without second thoughts. I still want this M with her after everything that has happened. Despite all the actions I've taken to turn this sitch around with her... every new act I have to take hurts.

That's why I come here for advice... b/c part of me wants to tell her I need her like I always have and I fight that part of me. When she's screaming at me, I have to work to ignore it. I felt hurt today when she left that angry voice mail. I really want her to stop calling me b/c I feel hurt to hear her voice. Even as I come very close to hating her... part of me wants to call her right now and ask her to talk to me. Tell her to come over to the condo and let's all be together.

And I'm starting to hate that part of me. I'm on day 2 of 90 days being in NC with her and my W and friend of almost 20 years who says she loves a stranger is screaming at me and wants ME to "grow up."

It's hard as you well know. Right now my mojo and PMA is low. I've had a few too many drinks. Tomorrow I'll be back up the strength and ready to make my W angry and/or cry with no guarantee of an R.

And I'll hate it.

Every second of it.

EDIT: Ugh... sorry... drunken idiot pity party rant. Ignore everything I just said except making my wife angry and cry tomorrow (if needed).