I went to visit my parents in November and due to family stuff ended up staying longer than I expected. Since then, I've experienced a whirlwind few weeks busy with work and sickness and just life, I guess.
And I thought I was doing okay. I did send my ex an email and I tested the waters by saying "I miss you." Received a pleasant email back, but he did not refer to that statement. I figured as much, and that's okay. I had no expectation that he would mention it, so my expectations weren't dashed. Fine.
But today, I feel absolutely awful. Yesterday's siege/hostage crisis in the city I live in was troubling for me, due to a past event in my life that I won't get into. But my ex would know exactly how I was feeling yesterday, probably better than anyone. And I haven't heard a peep from him.
I know he would have ways of knowing I was physically safe, although I don't know if he bothered to find out. But if he wanted to, he easily could. What bothers me is that he doesn't care enough to reach out to find out if emotionally I am okay. He would know exactly what yesterday's events would do to me, and there's not a word from him. So, I guess it has really hit home how little he wants me in his life, how we've reached a stage where we don't even check in on each other to see if we're okay.
I'm struggling with this all over again. Not wanting to be with me right now is one thing, but not even caring about me. That's a whole new ball game.
