That's what I used to think, and I have to think that if the roles were reversed, I would be doing whatever it takes to fix things. She's just not there.
I hear on these boards that the wayward spouse holds on to the H in case the A doesn't work out and to keep the family together. I feel like she is holding on the the OM in case I cannot forgive her (and to keep the family together). (though I have no proof of this any more). If this is the case, I do not know how to get it through to her that I can move forward and forgive - without pursuing and talking too much. Would it be too much of a step back to get into conversations like that again? probably
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015