Intro and Thoughts

[Mozza]

I'm sorry about the news. I can see how upsetting it is. My W left in September and I was crushed. But I can also say it helps my DBing and PMA. It's also a good way for them to miss us. I might be a good thing in the long run.

Thanks Starsky, she says it is the only way that she can "find herself" and for me not to be surprised when she returns to me. But I would not be able to forgive a affair which even if it doesn't occur..will in my mind.

Wow, you're ready to dump your W because you can imagine an A that doesn't happen. Also, don't assume how you'd react to an A. I was saying the exact same thing before my W had one and yet I forgave her.

There is no reason for her to leave, I have been nothing but caring.

For how long? You think you can erase in a few months what got her in that place? Have you seen how long the successful sitches last around here? If you're to be a better husband, you need to develop better empathy for your W. She's suffering or has suffered greatly to be able to leave her family. She didn't marry and have kids with this in mind. She's likely sad that she lost her desire for you, her will be be married to you. Every further step she takes should be an opportunity for you to measure the extent of the damage.

I cannot believe that she would do this to me and our children, I truly hate her for it.

Don't be too self-righteous. It sounds like you're willing to do the same thing for an A you know wouldn't happen. You say that if she leaves, doesn't have an A, you wouldn't take her back. How's that taking into consideration the well-being of the kids? How's that a greater offense than the years of pain she has endured with you in the M?

And no, don't help her move out. Her choices, her consequences.