You are doing a wonderful job of observing and making the best out of a bad situation.
Thank you!
Originally Posted By: bdub
Have you started to consider what life will be like if the worst happens? Will you be able to keep your home? Will you be willing and able to do co-parenting?
My IC has pushed me in this department a little. Before H moved out, she made me articulate what exactly would be different about my children's lives. Not much. She has asked me to consider that someday I might be a great wife to someone else, a great daughter in law to someone else, maybe even a step-mom. She is not pushing D, she just asks me to think. And I really have a real sense that there is someone out there that will love me in a way that I haven't felt for a really, really long time. I'm not in a hurry for that, and I don't know if it's H or someone else, and I'm willing to wait and see what happens.
A few months ago I saw two different Ls. One said I should sell the house, one said I could totally keep it. I am not overly attached to this house, but I'd like to stay until D12 goes off to college. H is being rather financially generous at the moment, so there's a good chance we can make it work out for me to stay. There's a lot that remains to be seen in the financial department. I'm not going to do anything inflammatory.
I will say, though, that the meetings with the L convinced me that I'd be OK financially. I don't want to have a court fight, but even if it came down to it, there's a certain base level I can count on, and it's enough.
As far as co-parenting, I think we are nailing that right now. Things are going smoothly, H is doing his share and more, we are communicating well. We spend time as a family. I have a very small amount of heartburn with a few things he does, but they are so small they aren't worth mentioning to him at the moment.
Our current agreement is for D12 to be with H 35% (only overnights count). Plus takes her to school most days. I'm thinking about offering him one more week night with her, but I haven't brought that up. We also haven't talked about anything beyond the end of the S period, so no discussions about spring break or summer vacation.
Overall, I think it's going as smoothly as a S can. I don't have the drama that I see playing out with other people here, and I'm really grateful. I can live my life, enjoy my kids, I am not worrying about the power bill, H and I get along in a neighborly way. My life is pretty good. But I don't see R coming out of a relationship with a neighbor......
