I thought the comment about flashbacks was related to having to think about all the behaviors of your D. Could that have been what he was referring to.


If your H had filled out the form with his own answers and then asked to go over it with you, would you have changed things on it or suggested changes?

I sometimes do the asking for help thing but I really only want "help" if you agree with what I've already done. I've gotten much better about that but the need to be right/perfectionism still surfaces and flexes.

What would the outcome had been if you had included all of his answers? He does have his independent observations and wasn't correcting your work so much as relating his experience, which has value. This is also difficult for him.

Can you reframe that episode in your mind?

You're doing great, this stuff is hard.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss