Angry WAH blames me for everything.......

[Calibri]

TLEE-

I would view it as positive if he actually meant it. And right now I don't believe 90% of what comes out of his mouth. He has a history of saying whatever the other person wants to hear in the conversation.

He will say and do things he doesn't want to do, all for the sake of not wanting to rock the boat. Or having someone think poorly of him, etc and so forth.

He's pulled something like about once a month since BD labor day weekend. He will suggest talking or hanging out "to see how it goes" and then either won't follow through, will get pissed off at something I've said or done, or will reveal that he never wanted to do anything he suggested in the first place. He was just making the suggestion because it was the, "right thing to do" or my personal favorite, "I thought that this would be a way of letting you down easier." Yes, because pretending to work on our relationship with no intentions of actually doing the work? Great way to let me down.

If I sound angry or bitter, it's because I am. I'm letting it out here.

I'm painted into a corner. I can't initiate conversations because that's "pursuing" as defined by DB and him. He won't communicate with me unless he's feeling over 75% happy and or not tired. So, we aren't talking. If we do talk, I'm supposed to keep it light and upbeat (as defined by DB and him) and anticipate how long of a conversation he can "handle." Because talking to me or texting me can "trigger" (hi Ss, I feel your pain.) his bad moods. Ones that last for days, which puts us right back at not talking. The rules are now defined by him, and they change daily, and I never know what they are because he never articulates them, and then gets mad at me when I step over a boundary that he hasn't defined, verbally. While they may be defined in his head, I am not a mind reader and I cannot abide by so,etching I don't know. Which is part of the reason we are where we are at. He doesn't say anything, I have no idea and then I'm resented for it.

Add in the few times that we have talked? It's either met with apathy, ambiguity or leaves me questioning if he's talking to me because he wants to or out of obligation.

It's a crap place to be.

So yes, I would love to view it as a positive. But it actually has to play out.

In regards to everyday talking - I'd love to do that as well. However, I get frustrated by the constant rule changes. The talking only on his schedule, which is dependent upon his mood. And you add in the fact that I feel he's manipulating a lot of people, combined with his hair trigger temper. We don't get very far.

It's a vicious merry go round. I'm ready to get off of it.