I love Pam dearly and hope that she has not reverted to these behaviors. If she has then I'll be very disapointed in her.
Try not to be disappointed in her. I know she's upset. She had been doing better. Sometimes though, it just infuriates me when she does these things.
Quote: This must be very frustrating for you.
And a bit scary.
Yes, and yes.
Quote: To have someone not accept that a divorce is immenent and then threaten you or your possessions harm is unfortunately a very typical emotional response.
That doesn't make it easy to deal with.
None of this is easy. It's not easy for anyone affected.
Quote: I suggest contacting your boss or the phone company. Explain the situation and ask to block her incoming calls.
I was hoping we'd be able to get through this without it getting ugly. I know we still need to talk to each other.
Quote: I know this isn't an ideal solution, I'm sure you don't want your co-workers knowing your private business.
But, having her call them to demand information about you is out of line. And against the principles of DBing.
This has always been a way to push my button, and she knows that. We've had this discussion several times.
Quote: Goal:
To have your stbx stop calling your co-workers at work.
Baby steps:
How will you know when you are getting closer to your goal?
Perhaps the stbx only leaves you 5 emails instead of 6.
Perhaps she only calls you 3 times instead of 4.
How can your reward her for these babysteps?
Any ideas?
I thought she'd quit doing that. I was actually proud of her her for that. I think that's part of the reason it hurt so much.
I felt it was a betrayal of my trust in her.... that she wouldn't keep contacting coworkers, and won't destroy my belongings. Pam is a good person, and I wouldn't have left my belongings there if I didn't think so. She does make it very difficult at times though.
Her actions yesterday scared me because I've seen them before when she was first starting to really spiral downward. They obviously made me angry also.
