Moving forward either way...

[twinmom]

Thanks for asking about miss Lilly.... she is good, getting so big! In 6 mo size clothes already :-)

[Bunches]

So the last week has been kind of crazy. W continues spiraling with depression. Had a few talks that seem to go from extreme to extreme. Just yesterday W was yelling at me about moving S away from her and why that is unfair. Then she calls this morning and tells me she is being selfish and is ready to agree to terms surrounding the move.

She did jump on the R conversation once again, saying she wished things were different and claiming that she has tried spending time with me to see if she could feel any different but that she doesn't want a R with me any more and that tells her all she needs to know. All I can say is oh well.

Planning for the move is going well. Need to get some more information from employer on the transition but I believe I found a school that will really help S with his challenges locally and a couple good opportunities on new homes. All in all things are looking good. I'll be finalizing papers this week to present to W to finalize custody. I hate having to have been the one to help along D but I needed to get it taken care of so this can go through.

[Barrybran]

You're looking after yourself and your son. That's all you can do.

[Bunches]

So W called this morning waking me up to just check-in. If I wasn't so tired when she called I would have been weirded out by that statement. I can't think of the last time she checked-in with me. She asked a few questions about how S was doing in school this week and then moved into my move plans and scheduling with S. When she ran out of questions she just kind of started to trail off into just wanting to know how I was and what S was up to, after just having him this last weekend. Anyhow I thought we were done but then common courtesy caused me to say I'm good, how about you and then she went into her work place and updates on other going's on.

I guess that's my only update really. This strange phone call this morning. The unpredictable friendliness is just odd. Anyhow, no big deal I guess.

[Bunches]

The last week has been a lot of up and down. Found out the costs on the school I've been eyeing for S when we move is going to cost me every penny I have for the next year, but they have a great success rate at helping kids with his challenges so I can't really say no. Feeling kind of down with the whole move coming up and the holidays to boot.

Got the first draft of D papers last Wednesday and went through them making corrections and getting redrafted a couple times. Sent back to STBXW on Friday and she finally got to them last night. I immediately got a call giving me anger over CS costs. Not my fault I told her. Its a state set chart here in GA. I don't control that. Its right about a third of her net income. She doesn't seem to believe its doable but I can think of a couple things she could do to make the difference. Not my place though so I'm just letting her know its not in my hands and leaving that one be.

Feeling confident she has an OM again. Either one of the ones come and gone is back or there is a new one. Just a sense I get from her. I can't get much more distant than I am now I guess its best things stay that way unless they change. We pretty much text or talk about S. STBXW does keep dropping comments about things being tough with her brother right now and her job being difficult for various reasons. Its funny to me because she likes to mention how bad things are but doesn't care to elaborate or talk about it. I'm just going to stop asking if she wants to talk about it when she mentions these things. Feels like she is just seeking pity right now.

I'd like to say I'm still GAL but its taken a big back seat with the prepping for holidays and moving. Running out of time to get it all figured out but some of the specifics around timing aren't figured out with work yet so I'm hurrying and waiting at the same time. Frustrated and lonely right now...

[Barrybran]

Just keep your chin up, mate. You're doing what you can and soon enough, you'll be able to settle down again and move forward with your life.

[Bunches]

The D process is just frustrating. STBXW has come back and said she cannot sign papers unless certain things are removed taking away certain financial responsibilites for any travel she will incur coming to visit S. We can't seem to agree on financial ends, mostly because she is limited which I understand but she seems unwilling to make any sacrifices to her life in order to make this work.

BIL asked if he could come by some this weekend again. His W left him again and he is looking for some direction. Somewhere between beers he always drops some bit of intel at me that I'm ill prepared for and am frankly no longer interested in now. Aparently STBXW did get back together with OM1 over the summer and he had been staying with her up until about a month ago. They had some falling out though and she is now alone again.

Also, I got the strangest call from MIL yesterday who I haven't talked to in maybe 10 months. W is always spending time with her and I don't make it my business to seek out those people as she would find it prying on my part. MIL called to tell me that I might think she is not on my side but that its not true. She was very proud of all I've done and am doing for S and the rest of the family. I was surprised but thankful for the kind words. I left it at that rather than trying to debate the matter with her.

W is dropping S off tonight after her weekend and wants to talk about papers again. She says she can't sign them now, but I actually can't wait long. If it gets to the new year and I move without something in writing she could sue me. If we can't agree, I may have to re file for contested D and do this the hard way. I don't want to be the bad guy but I'm feeling manuevered.

Sorry to rant... : (

[Sotto]

Hi Bunches....apology accepted! I think you are doing really well. It feels frustrating now, but you will get there.

Do you have a fallback position to suggest if W sticks to her guns?

Nice to have some positive feedback from MIL, and be seen as a giver of sound guidance by BIL.

Deep breaths.......you've got this.

Toots :-)

[Barrybran]

Sorry to hear that you're experiencing some resistance. Do you know what she is contesting? Can you let those things go to get the papers signed or do you need those things in place?

[Bunches]

Strange evening...W came over and talked about D papers. We started to argue, mostly over financial situations. We are both facing serious challenges. She will be having a hard time managing enough money to support her basic needs and my struggle is because of the special care I'm trying to provide S. Long story there to explain.

Anyhow, the arguing stopped when I managed to change the focus from what each of us is facing to looking at what S could miss out on if we don't take the chance on what I'm trying to do. W quickly admitted that she would never forgive herself if she caused that and S never managed to break through his challenges. Suddenly we were on the same page talking about it cooperatively and compromising. We talked more after that about challenges for the time and she shared some of her problems with me more freely than usual. She told me how much she truly hates her life these days and hates all men outside of myself, S, and FIL. Apparently she has been approached by several married men of late. Which fits with info BIL has told me about her few relationships being with men that turned out to be married and just seeking something on the side. I don't really know what to make of this evening. I'm just glad it turned out pleasant for now.

Back to making plans at this point. Sounds like we will have papers finalized this week and ready to sign. A little sad that its coming to a close but I think its starting to relieve tensions overall.