No, so far she's done anything but pull back. She does say that she still fills anxiety but it's more remorse for what she did to me. She's still warm and affectionate, she talks about our future and what we're going to do better as a couple. She liked my assertion that I wasn't fighting to go back to the way things were, but to build a new relationship that's better than the old one.
I need to re read 5LL. I'm not sure about a primary LL but if I had to pick two I would say Acts of Service and Quality Time, with maybe a little Words of Affirmation. This is based on her primary legitimate complaints about me.
Acts of Service - She wants to trust that her man has her back and will take care of her. She feels secure when I take initiative to do things around the house that need to get done, whether it's home repair or helping the kids with homework. In the past I would often react negatively if she asked me to do something and it was interfering with whatever I was working on. I would roll my eyes and sigh and act like she was imposing. She wants to feel like we're a team that takes care of each other. "Us against the world". She wants to feel like we're building something together.
Quality Time - just like it sounds, spending time together, whether it's running errands, working on a project together, watching a movie or a TV show, or something more romantic. Often I would hide behind my computer and we'd barely talk over the course of an evening. That was a legitimate complaint.
Words of Affirmation - she wants to feel valued and appreciated as a woman and an individual, not just as a wife and mother.
Last edited by Rzrback; 12/15/1412:27 AM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
