I got 99 problems but an MLCer ain't one!

[daring]

So interesting conversation today- not sure what to think.
H had younger kids last night after we did a celebration dinner for S8 karate belt test. S16 decided to stay with me. He went out with friends and around 1100 texted asking if he could stay as the mom offered. It is s girl's house ( not his girlfriend) but there was a group of them staying. I said fine but need to be back next day early enough to get ready to go to musical we were seeing.
Mid morning H came over to bring kids. S8 wanted to hang out a little and D13 needed to get ready for musical.
S16 hadn't shown up yet despite me calling him. H asked where he was and I told him. He said do you want me to go get him? I said yes that would be great. We both know the house as he hangs out there a lot.
When they got back H said he wished he had known he was staying night. Said he thinks we should let each other know those things.

Before I relay the rest of the conversation- in general H is more strict than I am about being out etc.
I said I'm not so sure about letting know those minor things. He said we should b/c if they are elsewhere and might need both of our support or help we should know. I said I'll have to think about it. He asked what the issue was- I said " we are coparenting, we aren't a family. As we go forward when I have them or when you have them we will be doing our own thing and I think social stuff like that is not necessary info to communicate all the time. Plus we won't be talking that often". He sat there for second and then said " I'm asking for you to let me know". I said I would think about it. Then he said " I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong or making bad decisions". I said " I don't think that, well maybe I do somewhat but that's not the whole issue". The conversation pretty much ended there.

I probably do feel he is judging me some- during his mean times he harped on my parenting and made me feel horrible. But it's not just that. It's also that I do t think those are details necessary to share if we are living separate lives. If they're going out of town with someone sure- but otherwise no.

Thoughts??