rpp, it's not that I think you need a sermon on forgiveness, it's that the story of your H's prideful ways called that to mind.
labug, I never question why you say the things you do. It has become obvious that God is using different pathways to speak to me, to say what I need to hear when I need to hear it. You are one.
Fourteen years ago, when I discovered that H had been emailing my best friend inappropriately, I was halfway through a book that saved my sanity. One point was that vengeance belongs to God, and I don't have to worry about it. He can do it up right in a way that I never could. That concept is something I've carried forward with me all these years.
I don't know that I've completely forgiven H for the A. Loyalty is huge for me. Huge. But I'm not seeking revenge and I'm not angry. I can be pleasant around him, and cooperate with him on kid and house things. That's a good place to be for now.
I feel like I'm done, but not in a spiteful way. I'm not trying to get away from him, don't want anything from him that I'm not entitled to, don't want to make his life with the duck hard, don't want to keep him from our kids. I'm just done. He's not who I want, and not especially because of the A and/or recent lies. Those are just the nail in the coffin. Granted, I never would have taken any action myself, but H did and so be it.
We have both agreed not to file for the 4 month S. And I will honor that. And I am also not willing to rock the boat right now to my financial detriment. So I will be patient. And continue to observe.
